Tag: worth

Amazing Brownies and Mistletoe Madness

There’s a brownie recipe at the end 🙂 so keep reading.

At the annual conference for the American Night Writer’s Association, I heard a cool guy say, “Something amazing happens here” should be written down when you can’t figure out how to bridge the chapters in your book. Turns out the same thing can be applied to life.

A year ago I was sitting in my old apartment in Utah, planning out my entire year on a piece of poster board and a green Crayola marker. I made so many plans; mostly short term goals set for each month. The kind I’ve wanted to achieve in years past and you guessed it, most of them were not accomplished.

Naturally life still gave me incredible things anyway. Sometimes we writers have the beginning and end to our novels, but have no clue what to put in the middle, so we leave it blank and write, “Something amazing happens here” and get to it when inspiration hits.

We don’t really know how the story comes together until it’s finished. But when it does, it’s rarely anything we would have originally planned for. But that’s the cool part! We surprise ourselves, we learn what inspires us, we discover what great and hard things it took to put those words down.

The same thing applies when we make our New Year’s resolutions while we look back on the ones we made the year before. I had no intentions of moving to Arizona, of quitting my two stable jobs, packing all that I could in my jeep, and driving through the desert to a future that wasn’t planned out at all. I gained new friends, a new family even, and the greatest opportunity of getting my book published. They were dreams I dared not hope for because they were goals I didn’t think were reasonable enough to accomplish.

But yesterday I was driving down the road, thinking about the goals I didn’t get around to; long term ones that had to do with my health and relationships—the usual ones that can take a toll on our self-worth. And I ended up pulling into a Walmart parking lot, cutting the engine and having a good cry for no other reason than to just let go of the hurt built up over the year.

In every story, amazing things happen, but not without conflict. Otherwise characters don’t grow. But it’s the conclusion where all the work is put together into something great. Sometimes it takes more than one full rotation around the sun to get there.

So I don’t give up hope, but a little discouragement is natural and it’s okay to take a minute to grieve about it. I ended up making brownies, and I think most can agree there’s something therapeutic about baking something—not from a box—but from scratch, that heals the soul.

After a brief indulgence, I thought about what to plan for 2017. I have a basic blueprint, a few dreams floating in my head. But like the great J Scott Savage said, “Something amazing happens here.” And keeping that attitude every day, usually gives room for the universe to make it so.

And because I promise you a bit of mistletoe madness, my story of the week doesn’t involve mistletoe, because I never received a mistletoe kiss before. It’s still a goal I have, and a goal I’ll never give up on. But as far as romance goes, I recently helped a good friend of mine surprise my roommate with a bouquet of white roses, which I think gives us all hope that classic romance is not dead.

And my friends, I don’t know how the universe was on my side, but it actually went perfectly. Those two ended up having a mistletoe kiss, which I didn’t resent…much, at least 😉 But truly, they were another couple I could add to my list of relationships. The ones where people try to make it work.

The honeymoon phase will end sometime, but being able to say, “Hey, remember when you totally lied about breaking our date, plotted with my roommate to ‘call the pizza guy’ who hid in the bathroom so I’d open the door to find you standing there with a bouquet of flowers?” …it brings back the memory of all the funny and gooey feelings you had when it happened. And because memories do fade over time, taking a second honeymoon, or three, or seventeen ain’t a bad idea.

Chelsea’s Homemade Brownies

1/2 cup + 2 tbsp. butter

1 cup sugar

1 tsp. vanilla

2 eggs

1/4 cup + 2 tbsp. cocoa powder

1/2 cup flour

With an electric mixer, beat together butter, sugar and vanilla until creamy. Add eggs slowly. Then stir in cocoa powder and flour with a spoon. Pour into a greased 9’9 pan, and bake at 325 degrees for 35-40 minutes. Let cool and enjoy!

Until next time with whatever amazing thing comes to mind, I wish you all a happy New Year.

Cheers to you, XO

~ Chelsea

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Do the Creep

Today I’m posting a quick response to a good question brought up on Facebook. “Why are there so many creepers?” Well friends, here’s my answer…

Creepy has become a term that quite a few people use loosely. When some people, not all, but a hefty majority say, “I was out with this person, and they were super creepy.” It really means, “I’m just not attracted them, but I don’t want to come across as a hater, so I’m gonna blame it on them in the most vague way possible.” Or maybe… “I’m just not attracted to them, so I’m emphasizing little things that bother me to prove my point.”

Because let’s face it, no one wants to be labeled a hater, or be that person who points out flaws in others for no reason. But lately “creepy” has become a word that legitimizes the criticism of someone’s normal personality, but just didn’t quite meet a particular person’s standards.

Okay then…so they don’t meet your standards. That’s fine. It’s okay to have them. It’s okay to have certain desires and requirements. But “creepy” is preferably defined as any type of noun that makes a person uncomfortable or sometimes unsafe. But what’s uncomfortable or unsafe to you may actually be endearing to someone else. We live in a weird world where it’s okay to be expressive and some people roll with it differently.

So be very careful who you label as a creeper, because it could actually ruin a good person’s reputation. If you do start to feel unsafe; feeling threatened or insecure by someone, then it’s absolutely okay to make it known. You have intuition and you should use it. I address not one specific gender, by to all by saying get out that pepper spray.

But right now I’m talking about the genuine people who work very hard to lower their pride and gather as much confidence as possible to make a conversation with someone who is very hard to approach. Because good for them! They’re taking initiative and you should commend them for that. And commend yourself for being a person someone wants to get to know. Doesn’t necessarily mean they’re interested in you romantically. Basic social skills are required in start up situations.

But until they ask for your number, don’t assume they want it. And if they do for the romantic reasons, and you’re not interested, there are many responses you can give without figuratively kicking them in the dirt. Like, “Thank you for asking, but I’m not interested in you that way. But you’re great and I wish the best of luck to you.” And if they start putting you down for that type response, or continue to pressure you until you’re uncomfortable, then you may call them a creeper because that’s just crappy behavior.

If you aren’t straightforward, they might not take the hint. In fact they may take it as playing hard to get, which can actually make the situation worse. Neither of you need that kind of stress in your life.

At the same time, if a person accepts a date or gives you their number, proceed with caution. That person is considering getting to know you better. It doesn’t always mean, “I’m super into you and hope after the date is over, we start planning the rest of our lives.” A date is not a contract, so neither of you should act under that impression. If after the first date and they’re not interested…congratulations! At least they gave you a chance and it just didn’t work out. You don’t have to think, “What if?” anymore.

And if they don’t initiate conversations with you after that, it’s likely they’re putting their time and energy elsewhere. And please believe me when I say it isn’t worth it for you to keep a friendship alive when that happens. Unless they put the same amount of friendship effort as you do, they’ll start freaking out irrationally. And usually, not always, but usually the people who don’t know how to say, “I’m not interested” they think ignoring is the way to go. And to you people who think so, it’s not. Again, it’s just crappy behavior.

And to all you people who do get a polite rejection, please understand that those people might not have anything against you. It doesn’t mean that you’re unattractive to everyone. It just means they have a particular standard and know beforehand that a relationship isn’t going to work. That standard is sometimes brought up with a certain background, religion or chemistry that they already know won’t match up with yours. If those standards don’t meet, odds are you two won’t last very long. So please don’t wallow in that. You don’t have to be happy about it, but at least be content in knowing you probably avoided a catastrophe of some sort.

It’s also not worth it to wallow over the people who are just plain mean. Some people try to get your attention in rude ways. And some people enjoy rejecting others because it gives them a sense of power. And that’s because they both carry insecurities they’re still sorting through, and it isn’t your job to try and break down those barriers. They’ll start taking advantage of your willingness to receive that attention. It’s too much drama, and IT’S NOT WORTH IT. Trust me.

And sometimes those people probably experienced enough creepers in their lives where if anyone were to show interest in them, they start to shut down. Again, not your job to push past those barriers. Sometimes walking away is the best option regardless of good intentions. If it’s not received, it doesn’t work. But you did try, and that’s all that matters sometimes. And if you’re the one who has insecurities, don’t let it stop you from having a conversation. It’s okay to be cautious, but you might gain a real support system that will one day help you through it. I know it because it happened for me.

Now I know my advice doesn’t apply to all. You know yourself better than I do. I simply enjoy living in a world where everyone in a room can be friends.

So until next time…

Cheers to you, XO

~ Chelsea

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